INSIGHTS

Next thing you will hear from is probably me giving a weather forecast or uploading a recipe from a food that makes me really happy . It won't be that deep... Tomorrow morning is a Monday ( nothing is delivered on the weekend , but hand-written letters) , so i will be checking my mailbox , anticipating love letters again, before i leave for work. If i won't get any, it means he doesn't like me and i really think I'm in the mood for writing ( I'm done with the love poems , but i want to write about me in the kitchen and then I will  also be done with this page ,I'm going to be focusing on life without leaving a clue)  , so I might keep looking for love on a mundane Monday. I'll pretend I didn't like him, although i love what the idea of him made me be : " I'm such a teenage lover " . I'm younger than i thought i would be by now .  It's winter and I'm carrying oranges to work , i gave him all my apples in the summer . I found the ultimate answer to staying young and alive . The universe is infinite and the time we have is short . In the end all that matters is love . I can't assure you , you will be loved back , but be able to love at least . It's the biggest energy i can leave here in this " little earth " to inherent...  You remember how i said 10 years ago , if a guy wears leather jacket i might like him? Now, if I'll be lucky i want to see someone wearing stripes on stripes( maybe a striped shirt and a striped tie... hmm yes ) . If it all goes wrong , where i invested ,I'm open to love , but picky.  Goodnight , good morning , good start. 

 

JOURNAL

It was the first day at the new job , i came down and wished  "good morning "to my concierge team as if i said" i looove you all, good morning ".

They are so invested in the next episodes of my life … They wished me "good luck. don't fall in love again ".

-"I won't, Ruth , they are all women ". 

I joked at times that if i leave the department store, i won't listen to some songs, but the department store ditched the old playlist long before i left and i came to the new place and it was playing "fool around" by strongboi , which was the first song I have heard or noticed when I started at the department store. , March the 17th 2023  . I thought this was a God's welcome , as it is not one of the most commercial songs , but it was my comfort song at work. 

I don't like that I 'm not going to wear my clothes there, and neither my high heels . I'm not comfortable with my height (1.65-1.69) . I'm adjusting in the new environment, but at least I'm with God into this.  Dear God, this won't last long you know it . I suffocate in the wrong clothes (I hope He knows i overreact, right now.)  When i teach , i can dress like my students favourite English teacher.   I love kids , they are the most creative and pure souls . I only try to impress them , actually . One day , the most cool people i would have met in my life , would be my own kids.