How did I end up here ? 
It was a death ,I never was strong enough to mourn . On February the 9th of 2018 my grandma dies ,while I was at the university taking exams . March the 9th ,2018 -the arrival in Germany . Ever since I "meet "her at the 9th in a magical way and life here where I am now became so round-and I'm glad it's not linear ,because I went back a couple of timelines and experienced daily deaths and eventually learned how to mourn and take death as it is and I think at the end of this trip , I came back to find myself ,I came back to my philosophy and my own rebirth .It takes to pass away a lot , to be born again .